Booze is into pickleball

HELLO THERE, PICKLEBALL FANS

Ok, sorry for screaming. Welcome to Picklewho, your grandpa’s favorite place after WWII conventions.

Today we’ve got no time for fancy greetings as I’m 99% sure I left my stove on and I’m writing this from an Uber, so let's get into business. These are the latest pickleball news!

• Pickleball, a great sport… a better workout!

• Still too noisy? Seems like the fight isn’t close to an end

• Booze is into pickleball

Pickleball, the best workout method out there

Some people practice Pickleball for fun, others for the money, and others because it fills a void left ages ago by a lover named Maria. That’s me.

But this noble sport is much more than that: it’s an antidote to death!

Ok, maybe that’s overselling it, though it does great things for your health! According to recent studies conducted by physical therapist Jeff Samyn, pickleball is a tremendous cardiovascular exercise that improves your balance AND is more shoulder-friendly than tennis. HA! YOU HEAR THAT, PETE SAMPRAS! SHOULDER-FRIENDLY! IN YOUR FACE!

Man, I need therapy.

Pickleball's popularity rises up, but the noise complaints too

We've addressed this issue before, but just like my beard during COVID, it doesn't seem to stop growing. Heck, some say it’s actually growing as much as the sport itself.

"It bothers my son"

"It's worse than cancer"

"It literally caused my husband's death"

Those are the silly reasons why a bunch of boring neighbors keeps complaining about Pickleball in cities like West Linn, Bend and Lake Oswego. Players have listened over and over to these complaints and, since pickleball people are the best pickleball, they’ve also taken several measures to reduce the noise.

Players have tried covering their paddles with rubber, putting tarps on the ground, and installing insulating walls. None seem to work, though rumor has it a small town in Utah is hiring church choirs to sing during the games....

Not to cover the sounds of the sport but to avoid hearing the shouts of the neighbors.

Let's give a warm welcome to our even warmer new sponsor!

And yes, that's what she said.

Major League Pickleball (MLP) keeps signing more and more sponsors. With already 12 big names in their list, one more has joined the family: Dulce Vida is now the official League's Tequila.

"The fastest growing Tequila in the country partners with the fastest growing sport" said Dulce Vida's CEO, Eric Dopkins, seconds before taking a shot, biting a lemon slice and dancing across the room with the cleaning lady. During a life match. The man’s unhinged.

MLP’s CEO Brian Levine commented they couldn’t be more excited to have Dulce Vida as partners for the season. Then he passed out.

So, to all MLP players I say: Good luck!